Three Men in A Boat by Jerome K. Jerome

From the stairs, they went into the drawing-room, which was a large, bright room, decorated with a somewhat startling though cheerful paper of a blue ground.  There was nothing, however, remarkable about the apartment, and my friend wondered why he had been brought there.  The proprietor went up to the paper, and tapped it.  It gave forth a wooden sound.

“Oak,” he explained.  “All carved oak, right up to the ceiling, just the same as you saw on the staircase.”

“But, great Cæsar! man,” expostulated my friend; “you don’t mean to say you have covered over carved oak with blue wall-paper?”

“Yes,” was the reply: “it was expensive work.  Had to match-board it all over first, of course.  But the room looks cheerful now.  It was awful gloomy before.”

I can’t say I altogether blame the man (which is doubtless a great relief to his mind).  From his point of view, which would be that of the average householder, desiring to take life as lightly as possible, and not that of the old-curiosity-shop maniac, there is reason on his side.  Carved oak is very pleasant to look at, and to have a little of, but it is no doubt somewhat depressing to live in, for those whose fancy does not lie that way.  It would be like living in a church.

No, what was sad in his case was that he, who didn’t care for carved oak, should have his drawing-room panelled with it, while people who do care for it have to pay enormous prices to get it.  It seems to be the rule of this world.  Each person has what he doesn’t want, and other people have what he does want.

Married men have wives, and don’t seem to want them; and young single fellows cry out that they can’t get them.  Poor people who can hardly keep themselves have eight hearty children.  Rich old couples, with no one to leave their money to, die childless.

Then there are girls with lovers.  The girls that have lovers never want them.  They say they would rather be without them, that they bother them, and why don’t they go and make love to Miss Smith and Miss Brown, who are plain and elderly, and haven’t got any lovers?  They themselves don’t want lovers.  They never mean to marry.

It does not do to dwell on these things; it makes one so sad.