Three Men in A Boat by Jerome K. Jerome

Our departure from Marlow I regard as one of our greatest successes.  It was dignified and impressive, without being ostentatious.  We had insisted at all the shops we had been to that the things should be sent with us then and there.  None of your “Yes, sir, I will send them off at once: the boy will be down there before you are, sir!” and then fooling about on the landing-stage, and going back to the shop twice to have a row about them, for us.  We waited while the basket was packed, and took the boy with us.

We went to a good many shops, adopting this principle at each one; and the consequence was that, by the time we had finished, we had as fine a collection of boys with baskets following us around as heart could desire; and our final march down the middle of the High Street, to the river, must have been as imposing a spectacle as Marlow had seen for many a long day.

The order of the procession was as follows:—

Montmorency, carrying a stick. Two disreputable-looking curs, friends of Montmorency’s. George, carrying coats and rugs, and smoking a short pipe. Harris, trying to walk with easy grace, while carrying a bulged-out Gladstone bag in one hand and a bottle of lime-juice in the other. Greengrocer’s boy and baker’s boy, with baskets. Boots from the hotel, carrying hamper. Confectioner’s boy, with basket. Grocer’s boy, with basket. Long-haired dog. Cheesemonger’s boy, with basket. Odd man carrying a bag. Bosom companion of odd man, with his hands in his pockets, smoking a short clay. Fruiterer’s boy, with basket. Myself, carrying three hats and a pair of boots, and trying to look as if I didn’t know it. Six small boys, and four stray dogs.

When we got down to the landing-stage, the boatman said:

“Let me see, sir; was yours a steam-launch or a house-boat?”

On our informing him it was a double-sculling skiff, he seemed surprised.

We had a good deal of trouble with steam launches that morning.  It was just before the Henley week, and they were going up in large numbers; some by themselves, some towing houseboats.  I do hate steam launches: I suppose every rowing man does.  I never see a steam launch but I feel I should like to lure it to a lonely part of the river, and there, in the silence and the solitude, strangle it.