Three Men in A Boat by Jerome K. Jerome

His victim was a large black Tom.  I never saw a larger cat, nor a more disreputable-looking cat.  It had lost half its tail, one of its ears, and a fairly appreciable proportion of its nose.  It was a long, sinewy-looking animal.  It had a calm, contented air about it.

Montmorency went for that poor cat at the rate of twenty miles an hour; but the cat did not hurry up—did not seem to have grasped the idea that its life was in danger.  It trotted quietly on until its would-be assassin was within a yard of it, and then it turned round and sat down in the middle of the road, and looked at Montmorency with a gentle, inquiring expression, that said:

“Yes!  You want me?”

Montmorency does not lack pluck; but there was something about the look of that cat that might have chilled the heart of the boldest dog.  He stopped abruptly, and looked back at Tom.

Neither spoke; but the conversation that one could imagine was clearly as follows:—

The Cat: “Can I do anything for you?”

Montmorency: “No—no, thanks.”

The Cat: “Don’t you mind speaking, if you really want anything, you know.”

Montmorency (backing down the High Street): “Oh, no—not at all—certainly—don’t you trouble.  I—I am afraid I’ve made a mistake.  I thought I knew you.  Sorry I disturbed you.”

The Cat: “Not at all—quite a pleasure.  Sure you don’t want anything, now?”

Montmorency (still backing): “Not at all, thanks—not at all—very kind of you.  Good morning.”

The Cat: “Good-morning.”

Then the cat rose, and continued his trot; and Montmorency, fitting what he calls his tail carefully into its groove, came back to us, and took up an unimportant position in the rear.

To this day, if you say the word “Cats!” to Montmorency, he will visibly shrink and look up piteously at you, as if to say:

“Please don’t.”

We did our marketing after breakfast, and revictualled the boat for three days.  George said we ought to take vegetables—that it was unhealthy not to eat vegetables.  He said they were easy enough to cook, and that he would see to that; so we got ten pounds of potatoes, a bushel of peas, and a few cabbages.  We got a beefsteak pie, a couple of gooseberry tarts, and a leg of mutton from the hotel; and fruit, and cakes, and bread and butter, and jam, and bacon and eggs, and other things we foraged round about the town for.