Three Men in A Boat by Jerome K. Jerome

I had always regarded “Two Lovely Black Eyes” as rather a commonplace tune until that evening.  The rich vein of sadness that George extracted from it quite surprised me.

The desire that grew upon Harris and myself, as the mournful strains progressed, was to fall upon each other’s necks and weep; but by great effort we kept back the rising tears, and listened to the wild yearnful melody in silence.

When the chorus came we even made a desperate effort to be merry.  We re-filled our glasses and joined in; Harris, in a voice trembling with emotion, leading, and George and I following a few words behind:

      “Two lovely black eyes; Oh! what a surprise! Only for telling a man he was wrong, Two—”

There we broke down.  The unutterable pathos of George’s accompaniment to that “two” we were, in our then state of depression, unable to bear.  Harris sobbed like a little child, and the dog howled till I thought his heart or his jaw must surely break.

George wanted to go on with another verse.  He thought that when he had got a little more into the tune, and could throw more “abandon,” as it were, into the rendering, it might not seem so sad.  The feeling of the majority, however, was opposed to the experiment.

There being nothing else to do, we went to bed—that is, we undressed ourselves, and tossed about at the bottom of the boat for some three or four hours.  After which, we managed to get some fitful slumber until five a.m., when we all got up and had breakfast.

The second day was exactly like the first.  The rain continued to pour down, and we sat, wrapped up in our mackintoshes, underneath the canvas, and drifted slowly down.

One of us—I forget which one now, but I rather think it was myself—made a few feeble attempts during the course of the morning to work up the old gipsy foolishness about being children of Nature and enjoying the wet; but it did not go down well at all.  That—

“I care not for the rain, not I!”

was so painfully evident, as expressing the sentiments of each of us, that to sing it seemed unnecessary.

On one point we were all agreed, and that was that, come what might, we would go through with this job to the bitter end.  We had come out for a fortnight’s enjoyment on the river, and a fortnight’s enjoyment on the river we meant to have.  If it killed us! well, that would be a sad thing for our friends and relations, but it could not be helped.  We felt that to give in to the weather in a climate such as ours would be a most disastrous precedent.