Three Men in A Boat by Jerome K. Jerome

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Harris said:

“How about when it rained?”

You can never rouse Harris.  There is no poetry about Harris—no wild yearning for the unattainable.  Harris never “weeps, he knows not why.”  If Harris’s eyes fill with tears, you can bet it is because Harris has been eating raw onions, or has put too much Worcester over his chop.

Mermaid

If you were to stand at night by the sea-shore with Harris, and say:

“Hark! do you not hear?  Is it but the mermaids singing deep below the waving waters; or sad spirits, chanting dirges for white corpses, held by seaweed?”  Harris would take you by the arm, and say:

“I know what it is, old man; you’ve got a chill.  Now, you come along with me.  I know a place round the corner here, where you can get a drop of the finest Scotch whisky you ever tasted—put you right in less than no time.”

Harris always does know a place round the corner where you can get something brilliant in the drinking line.  I believe that if you met Harris up in Paradise (supposing such a thing likely), he would immediately greet you with:

“So glad you’ve come, old fellow; I’ve found a nice place round the corner here, where you can get some really first-class nectar.”

In the present instance, however, as regarded the camping out, his practical view of the matter came as a very timely hint.  Camping out in rainy weather is not pleasant.

It is evening.  You are wet through, and there is a good two inches of water in the boat, and all the things are damp.  You find a place on the banks that is not quite so puddly as other places you have seen, and you land and lug out the tent, and two of you proceed to fix it.

It is soaked and heavy, and it flops about, and tumbles down on you, and clings round your head and makes you mad.  The rain is pouring steadily down all the time.  It is difficult enough to fix a tent in dry weather: in wet, the task becomes herculean.  Instead of helping you, it seems to you that the other man is simply playing the fool.  Just as you get your side beautifully fixed, he gives it a hoist from his end, and spoils it all.

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