Love Conquers All: Robert Benchley

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In straight reading-matter, bound in book form and sold as literature, this Moxie talk becomes a volume of inspirational sermonizing, and instead of selling cooling drinks or warming applications, it throws dynamic paragraph after dynamic paragraph into the fight for efficiency, concentration, self-confidence and personality on the part of our body politic. A homely virtue such as was taught us at our mother’s knee (or across our mother’s knees) at the age of four, in a dozen or so simple words, is taken and blown up into a book in which it is stated very impressively in a series of short, snappy sentences, all saying the same thing.

Such a book is called, for instance “You,” written by Irving R. Allen.

“You” takes 275 pages to divulge a secret of success. It would not be fair to Mr. Allen to give it away here after he has spent so much time concealing it. But it might be possible to give some idea of the importance of Mr. Allen’s discovery by stating one of my own, somewhat in the manner in which he has stated his. I will give my little contribution to the world’s inspiration the title of

HEY, YOU!

You and I are alone.

No, don’t try to get away. That door is locked. I won’t hurt you—much.

What I want to do is make you see yourself. I want you, when you put down this book, to say, “I know myself!” I want you to be able to look at yourself in the mirror and say: “Why, certainly I remember you, Mr. Addington Simms of Seattle, you old Rotary Club dog! How’s your merger?”

And the only way that you can ever be able to do this is to read this book through.

Then read it through again.

Then read it through again.

Then ring Dougherty’s bell and ask for “Chester.”

Now let’s get down to business.

I knew a man once who had made a million dollars. If he hadn’t been arrested he would have made another million.

Do you see what I mean?

If not, go back and read that over a second time. It’s worth it. I wrote it for you to read. You, do you hear me? You!

If you want to know the secret of this man’s success, of the success of hundreds of other men just like him, if you want to make his success your success, you must first learn the rule.

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