NFC NORTH
Chicago Bears Im just going to sit here and wait for the first Jay Cutler/Roy Williams fight, also known as the Battle of Who Could Care Less. Wait, sorry—that’s not fair. Roy Williams cares less. A lot less.
Detroit Lions My favorite thing about listening to people talk about the Lions is hearing them say, “They’ll make the playoffs if they can avoid injuries.†Everyone in the NFL can make the playoffs if they avoid injuries. The NFL has turned into the Battle of the Somme; the team that wins is always the one that loses the fewest guys. I’m pretty convinced that an NFL GM could draft/sign players based only on their durability—ignoring everything else—and if the team then got injured demonstrably less than every other team they’d probably win ten games just by running around and imitating what they’d seen on TV. Which, come to think of it, might have been what Matt Millen was thinking for all those years.
Green Bay Packers Aaron Rodgers is the man. The only reasonable criticism of him, really, is that he shouldn’t have abandoned the badass man-mane he rocked during his Cal days. I guess maybe Clay Matthews got dibs on being Green Bay’s Guy With The Hair…but I have to say, I miss the shaggy, California surfer look on A-Rodg. Which, yes, is what I call him when it’s just me and him.
Minnesota Vikings I refuse to watch or read anything about the Vikings until Campbell’s comes out with a commercial featuring Donovan McNabb’s mom. If the commercial is just Mrs. McNabb and Jared Allen, I’ll become a Vikings fan. And if it’s unscripted, I’ll move to fucking Minnesota.
