The results of the 2016 election are not the responsibility of Secretary Clinton, her campaign, or any of her associates. There are no refunds or recounts, and those that did not vote are not granted the right to be dissatisfied. If you believe that your government is defective in any way during the four-year warranty period (other than by customer mishandling), you should immediately contact an official representative who will help you within 1,000 business days. In the case of a sudden, life-threatening situation, you should donate $50,000 to the Trump Foundation in the hopes of getting a face-to-face with Eric Trump. Note that results may vary by customer, depending on personal identity. This contract is binding to all American citizens (if you are not a U.S. citizen or legal resident, please visit www.makeamericagreatagain.com/build-a-wall to review customer policy as it pertains to you). This agreement is effective January 20, 2017. All rights reserved to say “I told you so.”
—G. Newfield
