Some of you might be taking advantage of the New Year to become more active participants in Yale’s community. Not me. In fact, you probably won’t be seeing me around campus much because of my New Year’s resolution to quit smoking. Here are my favorite former smoke spots that are now just boring, lame places where nothing fun or chill ever happens.
- Old Campus — Nothing brought me more joy than lighting a fat one on Eli Yale’s big toe and blowing smoke into those annoying middle-school tour groups.
- LC — As an English major, it’s no wonder I smoked a pack or twelve a day. My career prospects are darker than my lungs.
- Beinecke Library — I used to think books were good for something other than using their pages to roll cigarettes. Now, I know that the older they are, the better they burn.
- Top of SSS — God-tier smoke spot. I’ll miss flicking roaches onto people below, always while in the nude.
- My Roommate’s Bed — I wasn’t about to get all that ash on my bed, alright? Yeesh.
- The Outdoors — Why would I even go outside if I can’t smoke anywhere? Not that being inside ever stopped me. Pauli Murray’s fire alarm is proof enough of that.
It’ll be tough giving up my coolest pastime. Oh well. I still have all of those dark alleyways I do heroin in.
–T. Harris
