Are you a sophomore aching to be back in sweet old New Haven? Are you a junior forced out of the super-old, totally authentic walls of your residential college? Well look no further! Here are some of the sweetest listings on the market:
- The Coat Check at Toads – This cozy one-bedroom comes fully equipped with Canada Goose bedding, piles of loose change, and something a little too sticky for comfort. At only five dollars a night, this musty hotspot is guaranteed to make you instantly sexy and popular, without too much of a strain on your wallet.
- Quinnipiac University – Communal, dorm-style living perfect for college students and recent post-grads. Expect many uncomfortable conversations with your new roommate about where you go during the school week. Unfortunately, this tempting option is only viable if you can shell out another $48,000 a semester.
- Gheav – A spacious loft located on Broadway, this pad has everything you could ever want. From the high ceilings to the heaps of coagulated tofu, Gheav has got it all! It is on the expensive side, so make sure you either have a steady source of income or some juicy blackmail on Josh.
- The Silligloo – The open floor plan and avant-garde design of this tiny house leave it flooded with natural light. The wraparound window allows for a stunning view of one of Yale’s residential colleges, but only if you’re willing to embrace your inner exhibitionist.
- Your Friend Drew’s House in Fairfield – This palatial 5-bedroom, 6-bath has a view almost as hot as its sauna. It’s a bit of a trek from campus, but Drew’s step-uncle can get you there in no time. The only problem with this killer setup is the price: you have to pretend to be into Drew’s erotic Percy Jackson fanfiction for another year.
- Yale on York – Talk about luxury! This duplex is perfect for hosting galas or other extravagant events— the kind of events that cost your entire tuition and make you wonder if there might be better uses for that sort of thing.
- Franklin and Murray – The expansion of Yale College that began three years ago with the opening of these two colleges will easily accommodate the housing needs of current students before increasing the admission rate for the class of 2024.