This article originally appeared in the Sponsored Issue.

What is your favorite book?

  • Gifted Hands
  • Gifted Hands, Second Edition
  • Gifted Hands (for Kindle)
  • The Bible

 

Whose hands would you trust with your life?

  • The gifted hands of a University of Michigan Medical School graduate and former Director of Pediatric Neurosurgery at Johns Hopkins Hospital, internationally regarded as a pioneer in neurosurgery.
  • Ted Cruz’s grubby little fondlers.

 

How do you like your hands?

  • Gifted
  • Holding a knife

 

What was your most formative experience?

  • In the 1970’s, I attempted to stab someone, but my knife glanced off his belt buckle.
  • As a child, I once tried to hit my mother over the head with a hammer.
  • I once cut a worm in half, then watched the two worm halves wriggle around for several minutes. Eventually, the halves stopped moving. I shrouded them both in Twix wrappers and buried them in my backyard. Every night for eight years, the worm halves visited me in my dreams. They talked of many things: Christian theology, the human condition, the political challenges facing our nation. This is what inspired me to become a surgeon.

 

How much sleep do you usually get?

  • 12 hours
  • 14 hours
  • 16 hours
  • Medically speaking, I am always asleep.

 

Which conjoined twin are you?

  • One forever in the debt of Dr. Ben Carson
  • The other one (also forever in the debt of Dr. Ben Carson)

 

—Archive