This article originally appeared in the Sponsored Issue.
January 30th was Bell Let’s Talk Day, a social media campaign sponsored by the telephone provider to promote awareness about mental illness and destigmatize depression. Before this event, I did not realize that depression is stigmatized, and was shocked and horrified to learn that something I have struggled with for much of my life is generally considered uncouth to talk about. However, I soon realized that people only avoid discussing depression because of a fundamental misconception, namely, that you can’t get hard on antidepressants. Though decreased sex drive is a common side effect of SSRI’s, you can still get hard; you just can’t come sometimes. This is why I am proud to announce my new social media campaign, “Depression is Hard,” in which I will go into my bedroom on Crown Street and get hard on my Prozac. I will achieve a full-on erection using only my hands (clothes on, of course). No visual pornography, only imagination. To prove that my Prozac is not actually Viagra, I will give one of my pills to an unneutered dog and we will see if it dies. That’s right: I’m back on my bullshit. Whether you have any experience with depression, I encourage you to swing by on Saturday, if only for the refreshments. All proceeds will go to the charity that throws Prozac out of floats like candy during parades. Best of all, doctors are saying that if my erection lasts for more than four hours, I will be cured of depression.