- He loves picking you up by the scruff of your neck.
- He refuses to call an exterminator for the raccoon in the attic, claiming he can “dominate it all by himself.”
- He’s all for horseplay.
- He is banned for life from the San Diego Zoo but refuses to talk about it beyond mentioning that he “tried to have sex with one of the animals.”
- He hates starring as Old Deuteronomy in Cats on Broadway because he “doesn’t like to shit where he eats.”
- He gave you one of his fur coats to wear to prom and then purred when you put it on.
- He often reminisces about his days at the San Diego Zoo before he was banned for “trying to have sex with one of the animals.”
- He loves you like the human son he never expected to have.