In a recent headline, Fox News referred to the Saybrook Strippers as “naked student protestors”. Famous for their incredibly accurate journalism, Fox News has surely uncovered some secret plot by Saybrook to topple the Yale administration. The following are some things that the strippers might have been protesting:

 

  1. Saybrook Dining Hall:

Dark and dungeon-like, this dining hall is by far the least popular of all the residential college dining halls. No wonder the Saybrugians were driven to nudity. Demands (may) include conversion of the dining hall into one of the other S colleges (Silliman or Stiles!) and the installation of a fully stocked bar.

 

  1. Exclusion from the Branford-JE rivalry:

Every college has the right to be hated. Why should Saybrook have to sit on the sideline while Branford and JE duke it out? Perhaps whipping it out at the game was their way of inspiring a smidge of antagonism from another college.

 

  1. A courtyard connected to Branford:

Saybrook is sick and tired of being known as Branford’s backyard, that corner of Branford without the bell tower, Branford version beta, etc. This protest was to show the world that Bran– I mean, Saybrook, is a fully independent residential college! They stripped away their clothes like they want to strip away their association with Branford. It’s a metaphor. Or something.

 

  1. Saybrook jokes:

It really isn’t fair that Saybrook is almost always the punch line for cheap humor on Yale’s campus. To protest being the butt of most jokes, they showed their butts to the world.

 

V. Muraleetharan