February 17, 8:51 pm: Everything’s pretty good here in Oz, not too terrible, not too exciting. I’m just waiting for my new boyfriend to call. But if he doesn’t, I won’t freak out or anything. All this is seriously stressing me out—it happens!—so I think I might smoke some poppies.
February 17, 9:16 pm: Much better. Dude. That road is so…yellow. I feel like I’m defying gravity.
February 26, 2:06 pm: Today I got wet. It was mildly uncomfortable.
March 19, 12:43 pm: Oh my goodness! A house just fell on my sister. Well, I’m very understandably upset!
I don’t wish ill on any potential parties involved in this obvious malfeasance, but I’m quite distressed! Not to mention, my man hasn’t called yet either. You’d think he’d at least offer his condolences!
March 28, 5:08 pm: I just saw a wholesome-looking girl walking down the road. And her little dog too! That’s somewhat out of the ordinary, I guess.
April 2, 9:12 pm: We had my sister’s funeral today. I was sad. She left me her amethyst slippers. Perfectly good shade of slippers, I think. Not that I care all that much about slippers, to be honest. I was sort of
distracted by the fact that Glinda couldn’t bring herself to wear black—“not my color.†Bitch.
May 6, 7:37 pm: Ughh… just waiting for my boyfriend to call back. Real life can be boring sometimes, especially when you’re just waiting around all day. Have you ever just sat and wondered what’s on the other side of that rainbow? No? Well, me neither.
May 30, 7:40 pm: What the hell kind of city is
built of emerald? Like, entirely of emerald? How very ostentatious. And emerald isn’t even that durable of a gemstone! Try ruby, that’d at least last through a few generations of Wizards. Or just wood or brick like everyone else! I mean, we live in a crazy enough world to begin with, what with the lions and tigers and bears. Oh, my…back is killing me. Might be PMS.
June 21, 10:59 am: Just doing my usual witch duties, distracting myself while I wait for him to call back. Another day, another dollar. I guess it would be too much to ask for a career that I could get excited about. Maybe I should get a hobby… Yeah right. When monkeys fly!
July 1, 7:44 pm: Yeah, life’s pretty meh, you know?
I guess I’ll just sit around some more waiting for him to call. What did I ever do to deserve falling in love with the Tin Man? He’s just so, oh… I don’t know… heartless!
—S. Stern
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