- Gavin was a backup singer on ‘Ignition – Remix’ by R. Kelly.
- You wanna know who’s a freak (and not in a good way)? Simona schedules a Covid test every day because she can’t get enough of those swabs up her nose. She says: “It’s the only thing that makes me feel alive anymore.”
- This one is true: Caleb’s mom died of scurvy over the weekend. I didn’t really start this one, his mom’s diet did. We send him our condolences
- Betty is pregnant.
- Carla isn’t pregnant—she shoplifts with that big hollow prosthetic belly of hers.
- Some people’s secret is that they pee in the shower, but Isabella secretly showers when she pees.
- Max is quite gullible and believed most of these.
- Ever wonder why Felix has been purring all the time? Or why he coughs up hairballs all the time? It’s not because he’s a cat; it’s because he’s a furry.
- Washington-native Nico may say “Commanders,” but he still thinks about them as The Washington Redskins.
- My mom is asking questions about the vaccine.
—E. Calderon
