Sexiest Battles in American History

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Battle of the Bulge

Battle of Man Asses Junction

Carpet Bombing of Dresden (and yes, it matched the Drapes Bombing of Dresden)

Battle of Antitties

Attack on Pearl Necklace Harbor

Battle of Ar-sex-dens

The Ejaculation of Saigon

Battle of Sara’s Toga (Sara was a real slut)

Construction of the Vaginot Line

The Tit Offensive

Lee’s Surrender at Fappomattox Courthouse

Battle of Midway Between the Buttcheeks Island

Battle of Chancellorsville (the death of Stonewall Jackson just gets my motor running)

—S. Savitz

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