To the phrase “records were made to be broken”,…

To the phrase “records were made to be broken”,

I’m sorry, what? I don’t know how many records you’ve set, but I certainly don’t plan on relinquishing my claim to “world’s largest land mammal” anytime soon.

—An African elephant

__________

Dear African elephant,

Ha! I’ve waited years for this moment!

—A mutant blue whale crawling out of
the ocean