An Ohio man was burying his cat Sunday when he dug up something that caused the whole neighborhood to be evacuated. What did he find?
• Minority neighbors
• That he couldn’t dig his way out of Ohio
• What we’ve been doing with our nuclear waste while waiting for Yucca Mountain
• Obama’s real birth certificate
• A Stargate
• The “Father Worm”
• Secret Koala Invasion Tunnel
• The town water source, into which he dumped his cat
—Staff (Kemper, Klumpp, Newsham, Thornton)
