Travelers in Southern China are reporting that entire Apple stores are now being faked. How can you tell if you’re in a counterfeit Apple store?
• saw something there with TWO buttons
• cats everywhere
• iPads look suspiciously like piece of glass glued to New Yorker cover
• Genius bar run by pack of (very smart, of course) wolves
• floor staff have totally normal haircuts
• is back of truck
• not trying to charge $30 for a pair of fucking headphones
• Genius Bar has happy hour
• migrant workers clearly living under iMac display
• AT&T phone gets reception
• iPod battery loses its ability to recharge fully after two weeks instead of the standard four
• mass grave in back.
—Staff (Bildersee, Chernicoff, Chiasson, Cohen-Wade, Gerber, Toth)
