The Record sat down with the man behind the weekly “SUNDAY SPECIAL + DELIVERY DEAL!!” emails from Brick Oven Pizza to learn more about business from the internet mogul himself.
INTERVIEWER: First, sir, it’s a huge honor to have you here today. I’d love to hear more about what exactly it is you do, and how you got into the business.
EMAIL GUY: Oh, man, it’s my pleasure. I’ve never been interviewed before. Sorry, what was the question?
INTERVIEWER: Could you just tell us a bit about what you do?
EMAIL GUY: For sure, for sure. I’m the one who sends the emails. So every Sunday, I write them up and then send the babies out. We send the email to a whole lot of people. Definitely a lot of reach.
INTERVIEWER: Wow. That’s really incredible. What else do you do during the week?
EMAIL GUY: Oh, the other days? Mostly I sit in Brick Oven. I never really got the pizza-making part down, so they just let me do the emails.
INTERVIEWER: You sit in Brick Oven?
EMAIL GUY: Yeah, yeah. The main dining area. Not the kitchen. I used to sit in the kitchen but the chefs would keep splashing sauce on my laptop. They didn’t like me sitting there because it messed with their, like, flow. So now I just sit at the dining table, and I only bring my laptop on Sundays.
INTERVIEWER: Got it. What do you do while you sit?
EMAIL GUY: Oh, well most of my time is consumed by the Sunday email.
INTERVIEWER: What do you mean? You said you only bring your laptop on Sundays.
EMAIL GUY: Well, the email doesn’t just write itself! I gotta think about what I want to say to everybody and be really precise with it, especially because I have such a big platform. It’s hard work. Especially since I only get paid for the email on Sundays, it takes a real commitment and sacrifice to be putting in the hours I do. Sometimes they have to turn away customers because I’m sitting at the last empty table, working hard, brainstorming ideas, expanding our reach, you know.
INTERVIEWER: You don’t get paid during the week? Also, don’t you send the same email every week?
EMAIL GUY: I mean, like, yeah. But I gotta spend the time thinking and ideating and deciding over the week if that’s what I want to do. Like sometimes I have new ideas, but yeah, you could say that I usually settle on the same email, sure.
INTERVIEWER: Ok, I see. Are there any other perks to the job? Why did you choose to work for Brick Oven?
EMAIL GUY: Brick Oven? I guess I just really vibe with their like business model, you know? I used to eat pizza as a kid so when I heard about the job, I was just like wow, I think I’ve found my dream job. I’ve never had their pizza though.
INTERVIEWER: You’ve never had their pizza?
EMAIL GUY: Of course not. You obviously know nothing about business. It’s bad for revenue business profits to pass out pizza to whoever the hell works there.
INTERVIEWER: Got it. Um, is there anything that you wish you could change about your job?
EMAIL GUY: I mean, honestly, the Sunday part sort of sucks. Like, I don’t ever get to take Sundays off. Never get to go on vacation. Never get to go to Church. No Sunday morning cartoons and waffles. Always gotta be up early, get myself to Brick Oven, fire up that laptop, and launch.
INTERVIEWER: Oh, wow.
EMAIL GUY: Yeah, it’s really tough.
INTERVIEWER: I can definitely see that. Have you considered using schedule send?
EMAIL GUY: Schedule what?
— T. Bhat