Merry Pi Day, folks! Forget everything else because it’s that one day a year where we can come together as a nation! And when I say come together, I mean we all need to physically congregate in small spaces.
As you already know, every good Pi Day starts with a mass migration to the local gathering area—a park, a school gym, or even a sports stadium. The less fresh air circulation and more exposed surfaces, the better! And because Pi Day is all about togetherness (pi is in circles and circles are whole or something), make sure your caucus is cramped so that everyone is forced within 3.14 feet of each other to share the love! Once everyone has recited the first thousand digits of pi and recounted the story of that one time their sixth grade math teacher, Mrs. Michels, brought in an actual pie on March 14th, the traditional kissing shall commence. Pucker up, buttercup—it’s time to lock lips and touch tongues! After all, it’s what William Jones, the Welsh mathematician who introduced the symbol in 1706, would have wanted.
Personally, I’ve always been swept up in the joyous celebrations and never taken a moment to reflect, but that will change this year! As the sun sets on my Pi Day, I’ll look around at the jubilant faces swamping our enclosure. Men and women of all colors, creeds, and strengths of immune systems. Boys and girls! People above fifty! People with underlying respiratory issues and autoimmune diseases! The elderly love pi day! They’re all going to be there to celebrate the number that we use to calculate circle-related values!
This is going to be the best Pi Day ever! I’ll see you in the throng ;)
—W. Cramer
