This article originally appeared in the Just for Teens Issue
Industrial Europe: Breathing in toxic coal fumes as you labor in the mines.
Mayan Empire: Doing peyote in the back room of the sacrificial temple.
Renaissance Italy: Huffing fresco oil in the Sistine Chapel.
Mongol Empire: Huffing fermented yak milk in your yurt.
Medieval Europe: Licking bubonic plague victims in the monk’s quarters.
Feudal Japan: Disrespecting your elders.
Roman Empire: Inhaling the smoke of barbarian villages set aflame as the Gauls run in fear from your mighty legions, FOR YOU ARE CAESAR, AND YOU DEMAND TRIBUTE!
Paleolithic Era: Huffing boar shit.
Early 2000s: Smoking crack in the teachers’ lounge. Kids these days are soft.
—E. Fogarty