1. If I Really Wanted To, I Could Make Yale’s Endowment Even Bigger
  2. Since When Is My Sex Dungeon A For-Profit Prison?
  3. Yale Isn’t The Only Thing That’s Well-Endowed… I’m Referring, Of Course, To My 6.5 Inch Penis
  4. With All This Debate Over Whether Corporations Are People, It’s Important To Remember That The Yale Corporation Is My Wife
  5. Yale’s Endowment Isn’t The Only Thing That Grows When The S&P 500 Is Up… In This Case, I’m Referring To When My 6.5 Inch Penis Becomes Erect
  6. My Ultimate Goal Is To Get The Yale Endowment On Shark Tank
  7. Nobody Ever Asks About My Emotional Investments
  8. Yale’s Endowment: $27 Billion. Writing Op-Eds For The Yale Record: Priceless


— Staff