NEW HAVEN, CT — Yesterday, amidst gasps from onlooking passers-by, Susie Marks ‘21 actually looked at the pinboard on Cross Campus. According to sources, Marks spent nearly five minutes contemplating what extracurricular activities interested her the most, even reading a Yale Mock Trial Association flyer in its entirety.

Marks has gained notoriety for her brazen behavior in the past. In July, the imminent first-year posted her drawing of a bulldog in the Class of 2021 Facebook group with the caption, “Paws-itively PUMPED to meet you all.” Marks went on to friend literally every member of the group before the year started.

Thankfully, as Chief Ronnell A. Higgins was preparing to inform the Yale community of a ‘public disturbance,’ Marks left the scene with a tear-off tab for YSECS in hand. She is expected to be admitted unanimously.

When asked about the incident, senior Jonathan Fisher commented, “What pinboard?”

—S. Soros