1. Bass Library LEGO set
  2. Hammer for destroying the LEGO Bass Library
  3. Life-size Yale Shuttle toy that always shows up when you need it and is always going the right direction
  4. Harvard-student-shaped stress ball
  5. Advance copy of Fifty Shades of ‘Vey, a novel detailing Peter Salovey’s sexual escapades
  6. Heart-shaped locket with a picture of Handsome Dan XVII on the left and a picture of Handsome Dan XVIII on the right
  7. Lifetime supply of Blue State coffee
  8. Lifetime supply of Koffee? coffee
  9. Lifetime supply of Donut Crazy coffee
  10. Exterminating agent for whatever species of coffee bean is used to make Yale coffee
  11. Christmas lights powered by Yorkside pizza grease
  12. Party balloon that increases grades when inflated
  13. Cardboard cutout of Jonathan Holloway
  14. Some direction in life


R. Mirchandani