I am Sam. Uncle Sam.
Do you like the Trump program?
I do not like it, Uncle Sam.
I do not like the Trump program.
Would you like it here or there?
I would not like it anywhere.
I do not like the Trump program.
I do not like it Uncle Sam.
Would you like him with his spouse? In the Senate, or the House?
I do not like him with his spouse.
In the Senate, or the House.
I do not like it here or there.
I do not like it anywhere.
I do not like the Trump program.
I do not like it, Uncle Sam.
Would you like it with a wall?
Two thousand miles, ten feet tall?
Not with a wall, however tall.
Not with his spouse. Not in the House.
I would not like it here or there.
I would not like it anywhere.
I would not like the Trump program.
I do not like it, Uncle Sam.
Would you? Could you? There they go!
No Hispanics, high or low.
I would not, could not, in a car,
Full of Muslims, heading far.
You may like him. You will see.
His name has got ubiquity!
I would not, could not, this I plea,
Only grief do I foresee.
I do not like it here or there.
I do not like it anywhere.
I do not like the Trump program.
I do not like it, Uncle Sam.
A pipe! A pipe! An oil pipe! Climate change is merely tripe!
Not with a pipe! Oh, can’t you tell?
Our planet’s heading straight to Hell!
I would not, could not, with a wall. It’s not a single, great cure-all.
I do not like the Trump program.
I do not like it, Uncle Sam.
Say! Would you, could—you get the gist—like the racist narcissist?
I would not, could not, I insist.
Do you have hope in our great nation?
Consider it his corporation!
He values nothing but himself,
His power, and his draining wealth.
Not in the House, or in the Court. Not with the people he’ll deport.
I will not like it here or there.
I do not like it anywhere!
You do not like the Trump program?
I do not like it, Uncle Sam.
He’ll bring his fist down on the poor!
That attitude I do abhor!
He’s putting women in their place!
He’s a crooked basket case!
I could not, would not—there’s no praise.
Pence wants to convert the gays!
I do not like the Trump program!
I do not like it, Uncle Sam.
You do not like it. So you say.
Try it! Try it! And you may.
Try it and you may, I say.
Sam! If you will let me be, I will try it. You will see.
Say! I like the Trump program!
I do! I like it, Uncle Sam!
You really like the sexist prick?
No, I lied: he makes me sick.
—D. Schifrin
