Okay. Yeah. Benjamin Franklin College is dumb. He never went to Yale, he’s yet another straight white male, and he even has his own university where half the buildings are already named after him.

But Pauli Murray College? That’s some good shit, right? We fucking crushed that one. Civil rights activist, feminist, non-gender-conforming person of color who had relationships with both men and women?

In 1923, Babe Ruth batted .378.  In 1911, Ty Cobb batted .420.  But in 2016, the Yale Corporation batted fucking .500.

We went into that room with a shortlist of candidates consisting of George W. Bush, Steven Schwarzman, and John C. Calhoun. After a few hours, we realized that students were demanding more diversity in the names of the residential colleges, and we came up with a list of diverse candidates. All of them were Jewish males. Jerry Seinfeld was on there.

It was bad.

But man, that moment when we accidentally clicked on Pauli Murray’s Wikipedia page? Goddamn euphoria. We knew we’d finally earned our place in the big leagues.

Please disregard our career average of .071.

— B. Beitler, E. Campbell-Taylor, and B. Garfinkel