John Adams Middle School P.E. teacher Chuck Darbus drew national attention after his recent admission that he genuinely thought student Emily Moore was menstruating for two consecutive months, thereby giving her a gym pass for 44 weekdays in a row.

The reality that seventh-grade Moore was not, in fact, hosting Aunt Flo every day for two months was brought to Darbus’ attention by an anonymous tip, allegedly from a member of the fourth-period gym class.

“I was shocked,” Darbus said. “I still am. I guess I just don’t know enough about how the…er…ovaries in the uterus…and the…um…clitoral estrogen…er…for that long…is any of this right?”

For her part, Moore, has welcomed the widespread positive attention from her peers, many of whom have expressed amazement about how far she was willing to go to get out of 50 minutes of dodgeball a day.

“I just didn’t feel like changing every day and getting all sweaty and gross during gym class, so I told Mr. Darbus it was my time of the month,” explained Moore. “But, like, every time of the month was my time of the month, and I knew he couldn’t actually prove anything.”

School officials report that they are looking into more rigorous background checks for middle school P.E. teachers to ensure that a similar situation doesn’t arise again.


—R. Treisman