A boring, unflavored Cheez-It and a 6,000-pound wedge of cheese

Two unrealistically attractive characters in a Nicholas Sparks novel

Some unlucky mole people in Switzerland

A couple of kids that shouldn’t have bullied the project head in middle school

Two janitors at CERN who were just screwing around

You and I (do do-do do do, do do-do do do)

Exiled Irish patriot Thomas Addis Emmet and future Senator Daniel Webster in the riveting 1824 US Supreme Court case Gibbons v. Ogden

Large hardons

—S. Savitz