• I have my period and I hear that if you have your period, a bear can smell the blood and will come find you to offer you several uncomfortable, off-brand maxi-pads
  • Kevin might be there
  • My shoes are so clean today
  • Kevin might not be there, but he might be here when I get back
  • I recently learned about the existence of ants
  • Leaves that look like faces?
  • The person who taught me about ants confused their size with the size of saltwater crocodiles
  • The GOP won’t let me
  • I’m still waiting for my gaucho pants to come back from the dry cleaners
  • I’m still waiting for gaucho pants to come back into style
  • Bear prom

—R. Lackner