- I have my period and I hear that if you have your period, a bear can smell the blood and will come find you to offer you several uncomfortable, off-brand maxi-pads
- Kevin might be there
- My shoes are so clean today
- Kevin might not be there, but he might be here when I get back
- I recently learned about the existence of ants
- Leaves that look like faces?
- The person who taught me about ants confused their size with the size of saltwater crocodiles
- The GOP won’t let me
- I’m still waiting for my gaucho pants to come back from the dry cleaners
- I’m still waiting for gaucho pants to come back into style
- Bear prom
—R. Lackner
