I’m comfortable with my appearance. Martha doesn’t mind the wooden teeth.
Valley Forge was, like, Pussyville 24/7.
The telegraph exists right now.
The fight for more affordable tea absolutely warranted your son’s death.
Alexander Hamilton’s dick is meh.
I am not saying these words, you are.
No, no, I’m totally Ben Franklin. I’m the one who ordered the sex.
I can bench-press every horse in the world, but not all at once.
I can bench-press every horse in the world, but not individually.
I’ve never vomited from crying too much.
I am from beyond the stars. All will bow before me.
I’m gonna fuck Barbara Streisand. Right now.
—E. Campbell-Taylor & B. Garfinkel