Batman traded in the Batmobile for a Honda in the
Cash-4-Clunkers program

Jeff Bezos bought The Daily Planet; Clark Kent is
taking time off from fighting crime to develop
Amazon’s new Same Day delivery program

The Green Hornet can’t afford good weed

Wonder Woman is moonlighting as a dominatrix, rated
#1 on the internet for her lasso work

That’s not a Spiderman impersonator on Hollywood

Captain America believes that those communists might
be onto something, actually

Ironman is on the lam after “accidentally” chucking a
few Occupiers protesting outside his company

Thor drinks Natty Light instead of Valhalla Mead

Robin got a gig at the Y teaching a class called “How to
deal with personal mediocrity”

The Justice League killed Aquaman to avoid paying
severance packages

Lady Gaga is no longer considered a superwoman/

Lex Luthor is doing really well, actually—he just bought
a new yacht with his bailout money

—H. Schneider