A Dutch woman is facing charges for stalking—last year, she called her ex-boyfriend 65,000 times. What’s her side of the story?
• To be fair, that’s only 178 calls per day
• Bored while driving to Space Shuttle launch site wearing adult diaper
• Jesus…with the exchange rate, that’s like 80,000 American calls
• 65,000 life-threatening emergencies
• Never forgave him for that time he answered his phone during sex
• Shoulda been 64,999, but the neighbor’s dog had on the CUTEST sweater
• Wanted everyone to know that he had “Barbie Girl” as his ringtone and didn’t know how to change it
• They were in a long-distance relationship—how else was she supposed to stalk him?
• Butt-dial
• “His answering machine always makes me laugh.”
• Kept messing up her message.
• Wait, we broke up?
Staff (Chernicoff, Cohen-Wade, Kahn, Klumpp, Newsham, Orlin, Thornton
