Here at Camp Funland, we have a long history. We’ve lured hosted Scouts here since the dawn of time (technically since February 8, 1910, when the Boy Scouts were founded, but who cares what happened before then?) Tonight, we’re going to teach you a song we’ve sung for decades, one you’ll sing for decades to come! Funland alum David R. Ellis even included it in his 2006 blockbuster “Snakes on a Plane,” which surely you all saw at the screening last night! It’s pretty simple, and sung to the tune of Yellow Submarine –– just try to catch on!

Here we are at Camp Funland
Where we can play in the sand
And as a troop united stand
And teach you propogand-a.

At 8 we’ll always wake
For swimming by the lake
And memories we will make
Just look out for the snake.

We stay up until daybreak
Recount tales about Jake
And our former leader Drake,
Who both forgot about the snake.

Here we are at Camp Funland
Where the dinners overflow
Here we are at Camp Funland
Feeding you so you will grow

Life here is a piece of cake
Except for the snake
Their memories we keep awake:
Dylan, Josh, Matt, and Blake.

Wait, has anyone seen Alex?
For the love of God, HAS ANYONE SEEN ALEX?

— A. Calkins