REJECTED IDEAS FOR NEW MUPPETS
The 2011 blockbuster hit The Muppets is one of the most widely acclaimed movies of all time. But did you know that the writers cut several Muppets from the movie during pre-produc- tion? Here are our favorite Muppets that didn’t make it in.
Charles Koch — Who wouldn’t want a co-founder of the Cato Institute as a Muppet? Those jackass, liberal directors it seems. Koch was cut from the lineup only a week before production started.
Ron Paul — A true Renaissance man! The Muppets would have been immensely more popular had they kept him in the movie, but his critical views on the Federal Reserve made him unpopular with the George-Soros-backed producer.
Rand Paul — First elected to Congress while The Muppets
was being produced, Rand has always been a friend of the libertarian community. He fights for the little guy. He knows taxation is theft. He supports the government staying out of our goddamn business. Fired as a result of poor hygiene on account of all the lice in his curly hair.
Randy Paul —This Muppet was a cheery singer-songwriter who instilled kids with a love of music through his heartful and catchy songs about the power of friendship. He was cut due to fears that young audiences could not distinguish him from Ron Paul and Rand Paul. Unfortunately for Randy, the other Pauls were later edited out.
Jo Jorgensen — Who better to include than the first female liber- tarian presidential candidate? Though at the time she was relatively unknown, she was still too much of a mover and a shaker to be shown on the big screen. The big Hollywood liberals edited her out of the final cut in a futile attempt to stop her rise to fame.
Jacob — Originally imagined as the adopted son of Bert and Ernie following their marriage in the movie, Jacob was cut as a result of budget constraints and polling among sample au- diences that indicated unease with the idea of a homosexual couple adopting a child.
—S. Hakani
