As Rosa Luxemburg once said, “the Yale Record Online is the decisive element, they are the rock on which the final victory of the revolution will be built”. We’re back this week with the Perspective, and I would like to remind everyone that corruption, a word thrown around a lot lately, can only describe “backwater dictatorships in Central Africa” per the Merriam-Webster Dictionary. Here in the US, Biden just signed a bill Friday the 2nd preventing a potentially crippling nationwide railroad strike. When interviewed by the Record, a spokesperson for union SMART-TD by the name of Païd Sekdey said that “I’m disappointed in the conclusion we were strong-armed into by the White House – it truly feels like management holds no regard for our quality of life and we’ve received a pittance to keep us docile for the immediate future before the capitalistic cycle begins anew. Also, I love killing babies! Aaarghhhh! Baby flesh!” What a crazy guy he is! I’m glad our country is in competent hands that know when an expense is necessary and when it is frivolous, like upgrading power stations to prevent county-wide blackouts. Who needs power anyway? I’ve heard it corrupts. 

Unions seem to be unpopular across the board, even the special one between a man and the women he pressures into abortions; Herschel Walker lost the Georgia runoff election last Tuesday night to Democratic senator Raphael Warnock. The result has been touted by Republicans as proof the Election Integrity Act of 2021 did not contribute to voter suppression in the state. For the first time, the bill’s controversial new requirement for urban voters was seen in action: those unable to provide government ID had to submit themselves to a police lineup under a dim streetlamp for identification by witnesses. “In and out, really,” said Bob Saunders, a 45-year-old manager and Atlanta resident interviewed by the Record. “I just fished my license out of my wallet and me wife and I are done in a minute, but it seems like some folks today can’t even find the energy to do that.” 

In Germany, some are also feeling disillusioned by voting, as a recently-uncovered plot of a far-right terrorist cell to violently overthrow the government has made waves in the international community. Responsible members had little to say about their plans to execute chancellor Olaf Scholz, but surprisingly much about the rapper formerly known as Kanye West: “Graduation was strong, but he somehow just seems to keep getting better,” said one insurrectionist. Prince Heinrich XIII, a key figure in the attempted coup, supposedly believes that the postwar German administration is not a sovereign country but a corporation established by the Allies and a deep state cabal, and held secret preparatory meetings in his hunting lodge. Oh gosh, I sure hope none of them hurt any rabbits! 

Germany really does seem to be dropping the ball, as it faces elimination from a World Cup which sees Argentina and France through to the finals in Qatar. These will duke it out on Sunday for a chance to win it all and avoid being turned into footballs, the fate of all losing teams thus far. I’m glad that even at such a high-profile event, the organizers respect the environmental roots of the game with this classic renewable practice. 

Here at Yale, student protests just wrapped up last week surrounding the now-eased Zero Covid Chinese lockdowns, including one very passionate vigil with several speeches. It got so intense that I couldn’t even make out the sentences coming forth, but I felt the emotion in the air. I also don’t speak Mandarin. The YDN demonstrated true journalistic integrity through its gracious exception allowing a student to post an anonymous op-ed about the riots. Thank you for your sacrifice, YDN. We hope finals don’t finish the rest of you off, because remember, there is always a light at the end of the tunnel. Hold on! I can just make it out– yes, it’s a bright “R”, and then an “e”, and then– ah, silly me. It’s the Record Perspective! We’ll be back again before Christmas.