We can all agree that freedom of expression is essential to any society, but let’s also agree that there are some books that should be cast into the inferno, never again to be read by any mortal eye. Here are our top picks for books you should burn on sight.

  • To Kill a Mockingbird: Condones killing, condones mockingbirds
  • Merriam Webster Dictionary Eleventh Edition: Too wordy
  • 1984: It’s 2021
  • Green Eggs and Ham: Too much nudity
  • And To Think That I Saw It On Mulberry Street: Not enough nudity
  • Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban: British
  • Everyone Poops: Our supreme leader does not
  • The 2019 Dover High Yearbook: Daniel only won Best Smile because his dad’s rich
  • Animal Farm: Allegory not clear enough
  • The Great American issue: Not that great, not that American
  • Fahrenheit 451: Criticizes book burning