As I look out the window at this downtrodden town, all I can think of is its doomed name. Rafferty Falls. Rafferty fell? Fell from what? Old Rafferty fell from the waterfall that bears his name, but his town seems to have fallen from much worse. From grace? Perhaps. And perhaps this town hides a murderer in its midst. But, where there are murderers, there are detectives, and where there are detectives, justice runs its course.


The people of this town have told me stories. The ground I stand on hides the truth of what happened to O’Connor on this fateful night. And, reader, as I step back through the past, I fear I am just as confuddled as I was when I began.


Our tale starts with Old Anders: antihistamine heathen, trivia king, oldest man in town. Could the man hellbent on stopping the demolition of World Park’s towers possibly have been brought to murder? Could his mysterious absence at the time of the crime be insidious? Signs point to no. He may have given Lee Harvey Oswald the gun, but the statute of limitations for such a crime is unyielding, and he is no spring chicken. The man he once was has been reduced to a Benadryl-dependent shell. 


Speaking of absence, Oskaar Johannson has been experiencing a bit of that himself: an absence of his wife in his bed. Could her infidelity have led to a crime of passion? Signs point to no. He told me so himself, and he seems like a straight shooter.


It’s time to point out the elephant in the room. Charlie Murderer. What’s in a name? That which we call a rose, would it not smell as sweet if it were called “murderer”? Are we to believe that a man cannot rise above his fate? Is every “Smith” a metalworker? Every “Fisher” at the harbor? Charlie may have owned the bar, hell, he may have been in the bar, when O’Connor was murdered. He may have been accused by the mayor of “killing him,” but are we to believe that the man could not resist destiny? Signs point to no: he told me so himself. 


And finally, we have the dogcatcher. The bite marks on O’Connor’s cold, dead body do not lie: the man was mauled. And only one person in this town has the power of the canine. Could it be that this man chose to wield it against the mayor? Signs point to no. He was not with his husky at the time of the crime.


Reader, tell me, what does this picture tell us? When all signs point to no, what must the answer be? My powers of deductive reasoning leave only one stone unturned: suicide. And you may ask, how do we explain the bitemarks? The poison? Reader, I have been in this business long enough to know that the twisted mind of a suicidal man is capable of anything. And in this case, anything is being purposely mauled by dogs, and purposely poisoning oneself. There is no other explanation, nothing left to add to the picture. In this case, the murderer was the victim, and the victim turned out to be bigger than just O’Connor himself. Here, the whole town suffered. But, Rafferty Falls can sleep tonight knowing that this case is officially closed.

– D. Kulmizev