From Worst to Best:

  1. Pauli Murray – Too far 
  2. Benjamin Franklin – Where this guy named Trent lives
  3. Silliman – Has “man” in name
  4. Morse – Trent’s lacrosse gear takes up three seats
  5. Jonathan Edwards – Costs two meal swipes and an insider trading secret
  6. Grace Hopper – Actually not good
  7. Davenport – Trent eats there on Tuesdays, and once, he called my screenplay “formulaic”
  8. Trumbull – At 3:01 PM, they bring out riot shields
  9. Stiles – The Moose Bisque is well seasoned but lacks character
  10. Pierson – Less racist than it used to be
  11. Berkeley – Where Trent broke up with me. Good pizza, though
  12. TD – Short acronym