This article originally appeared in the 2018 First Year Issue

Bass Library – You’re dedicated! You need a quiet study space to maintain that 4.0! Go you!

Maison Mathis – You like to treat yourself! And yes, trying everything on the menu DOES count as research!

Blue State Coffee – You’re a social butterfly! You love running into friends while you work, and the ambient noise helps you think.

Sterling Stacks – You’re meditative. You like to look out over Yale’s campus while you study. Watch the people. Learn their patterns.

Center for Teaching and Learning – You’re collaborative. You work best in a group study room. A private room. A soundproof room. A room where nobody would be able to hear their screams. Hell, they had it coming The writing was on the walls. Or are they windows? Dammit, all the rooms in the CTL are transparent. Back to the drawing board.

Your Dorm Room – You’re introverted. Sometimes you need to be alone with your thoughts. Goddamnit, you just need a minute to figure this all out. You’re so close you can taste it, but there can’t be any loose ends. No evidence. Nothing to tie you to the scene.

The Secret Steam Tunnels – You’ve waited so long for this moment. Watching and waiting. Waiting and watching. You’ve been off the grid for 72 hours, living in the steam tunnels and eating the unrefrigerated sushi you guest-swiped from Durfee’s before spring break. You never knew imitation crab could rot, but then again, you never thought you’d make it this

far. Everyone thinks you’re in Manhattan for the weekend—the perfect alibi. You even left a Chelsea gallery-hopping travel guide on your desk. Yes, everything is in place. You wait in silence, looking
up through the grates of a manhole outside Bass. 10:53 PM. Any moment now. Suddenly, you hear the sound of footsteps—somehow, you know it’s him. You can sense it. Poor kid, you think. If only he had a friend with him. If only he had one fucking friend.

Starbucks – You’re a jitterbug! You need a little caffeine to get those mental gears turning!

— C. Cohen