This article originally appeared in the 2018 First Year Issue

  1. Pretended to be an awarded polo player: Most people don’t know how polo works, so if you had insisted on taking your campus tour atop a beautiful steed you brought from home, you probably would have gotten recruited on the spot.
  2. Nailed your interview. Before your interview, you should have done a mock-interview with someone you admire, like a parent or an esteemed diplomat, killed them, and worn their skin like a suit so as to impersonate someone admirable. After all, the key to a successful interview is being comfortable in your own new skin.
  3. Listed Morse on Airbnb and then booked it from August to May. It’s not like anyone else wants to live there.
  4. Written your essay about the summer you spent volunteering in Costa Rica. The insights you learned from those villagers were far more valuable than anything you could have offered them in return, except maybe clean water, or cash.
  5. Been creative, followed your passions, and pursued things even if your teachers or the College Board disapproved. Legacies can get away with shit like that.

— Y. Greenberg