Can you believe it, you guys? I’m going to Yale. The Yale College. A subset of The Yale University. An operating subsidiary of The Yale Corporation. Yale Class of 2022! Woohoo!!!

There are so many reasons I’m excited for school to start: the incredible residence halls, the world-class professors, the wonderfully seasoned food. But the thing I’m most excited for is the opportunity to forge lifelong relationships! I’ve already met so many close friends through the Class of 2022 Facebook page who I can’t imagine my life without. It’s going to be so great to finally meet them in person! We’re going to party together all the time and never drink to forget!

And sure, there was that whole catfishing situation, but I’m over it. Some people are still upset with me, but if they can’t handle a harmless joke, I don’t want to be their fake girlfriend anyways. As for my legitimate romantic interests, I know Trevor from Bulldog Days is gonna hit me up at some point. Who knows, maybe we’ll get married? Haha, wouldn’t that be so crazy and stupid and crazy? Maybe my roommate will be my maid of honor! Haha, I’m so crazy, right? Say it. Just say I’m crazy. I fucking dare you.

High school was rough, because my friends and I were always super busy and so we never hung out. But college definitely won’t be like that! Everyone lives together so how could you not see your friends around, right? And plus, my suitemates already promised in the Bingham C31 GroupMe that we’re gonna get dinner together at least 4 times a week. I know that doesn’t sound like a lot, but I’m reserving the other 3 for FOOT reunions!

The best part about college is that there won’t be any academic grandstanding or masturbatory intellectualism. Classes will be about really digging into the material and making genuine, insightful comments. Especially if I’m in a class with Trevor. Did I mention he wants to major in Ethics, Politics, AND Economics. How cool is that?!

Deep down, I know everything won’t be perfect. I know that my FroCo group might not be receptive to the idea of going to Cabo together during fall break. I know that for every culturally respectful, locally sourced dish that Yale Dining provides, they might serve one that is a bit under-seasoned. And most of all I know that there will be moments here when, surrounded by such boundless talent and intelligence, I will feel more worthless than ever before. But through it all, I will find ways to remind myself that I am just as competent and empowered as everyone else here. Because at the end of the day, isn’t that what catfishing is all about?

— M. Vasquez