This article originally appeared in the 2018 First Year Issue

In the library, near the books

In your room, in the bed

In the Film Center so that you both can watch Inside the Actors’ Studio

In your professor’s house when they invite you for that end of semester dinner you know is gonna suck

In the McCullough Student Center at Middlebury College. That’s allowed because I never said which campus!

Out a window in Harkness Tower so that your semen gains enough speed on the descent to kill someone

At Makeout Point

— J. Houston