This article originally appeared in the 2018 First Year Issue

  1. The ditch behind the Shops at YaleTM where Yale Security found Sherm draped in a Room EssentialsTM twin XL fitted sheet with 11 stab wounds and no kidneys.
  2. Sherm’s dorm, where his roommate Kevin was told that, “Sherm won’t be back anytime soon. Can we borrow his Room EssentialsTM twin XL fitted sheet?”
  3. The antiquated HGS cage-elevator where Sherm was stabbed by his Econ TA and acid dealer because one kidney is never enough.
  4. The Center for Innovation, Engineering, and Design, a hub for collaborative design and interdisciplinary activity not visited on the traditional Yale campus tour.
  5. The computer lab in Connecticut Hall where Sherm (at the height of his trip) sold one kidney to his Econ TA for bitcoin.
  6. The astronomy observatory, where the stars arranged themselves into “Bitcoin 4 Kidneys” right before Sherm’s acid-dilated baby blues.
  7. The Whale, specifically the blood-red stripe on the ice where the Zamboni swallowed the maintenance guy.
  8. The Whale, where Sherm and the maintenance guy shared a candlelit zamboni ride: no more, no less.
  9. The booth at Yorkside, where Sherm and the maintenance guy Lady and the Tramped some buff mozz sticks.
  10. The sewage drain, where Sherm dropped acid with his new friend, the Yale Maintenance guy.
  11. The sewage drain, where Sherm dropped his acid tab and had to call Yale Maintenance to retrieve it.
  12. The Econ section where Sherm’s TA was raving about blockchain cryptocurrency.
  13. Sherm’s plot in the Grove Street Cemetery, where a single flower, life, has sprung anew.

— Staff