What Type of Benign Cyst Are You?

What is your favorite sandwich spread?

Peanut Butter

Jelly

Butter

Mayonnaise

I like a dry sandwich

When you were little you played with:

An Easy-Bake Oven®

Silly Putty®

Troll dolls

Marbles

Sticks and dirt

How would you describe yourself?

Always on a joint

Sometimes spongy, sometimes firm

Hairy

Full of fluid

I am nothing, really. Aren’t we all just plunging headlong into the abyss?

Favorite Pastime?

Baking

Playing drums and other wrist activities

Butt things, I suppose

Sexual intercourse

Not causing trouble

Growing up, your friends always said that you’re:

Arthritic

Unmovable

A pain in the ass

Unlucky

I have, and never have had, friends. I wish I had a friend or at least a mild acquaintance to keep me company, as it is dark and lonely inside of this ovary. If I had just one other cyst by my side, I could spend my lifetime savoring the knowledge that someone else in this godforsaken human body has experienced my presence before I inevitably perish and fade into oblivion.

Do you require a-cyst-ance?

No, it's probably fine

Maybe?

Yes please

YES NOW

No, why?

Be sure to click Submit Quiz to see your results!

—L. Unsworth