1. Find an old Italian woman between the ages of 77 and 79. She should have brown hair and her name must be Amelia. Her two children should be named Giuseppe and Dante, and she must be able to make better than average homemade pasta.
  2. You must love Amelia with all your heart. This is important.
  3. Next, gather together a group of friends from various ethnic backgrounds. (Think human rainbow diverse.) Who you choose doesn’t matter. Only Amelia matters.
  4. Buy a very large pot. It should be made in China.
  5. Put the people inside that pot with a splash of chicken stock (use vegetable broth if you want a vegetarian melting pot).
  6. Light a fire under that pot.
  7. Weep for Amelia, your sweet cherry blossom.
  8. Now, watch with glee as the pot comes to a boil.
  9. Thank R’hllor, the Red God, for all that he has given you.
  10. Clarify to R’hllor, the Red God, that you are making a U.S. melting pot and will not tolerate his communist sympathies.
  11. Purchase some fine, totally legal pot.
  12. Forget chemistry and all of your life experiences with things that burn.
  13. Melt the pot over your people in the large pot, as a final garnish.
  14. Congratulations, you have created melting pot!
  15. Add 3 cheeseburgers, as much oil as you can find, and 1 culture of consumerism.
  16. Congratulations, you have created U.S. melting pot!
  17. Forcibly serve to everyone everywhere.

—A. Ringlein