“What’s everyone’s deal with nitrous oxide? Ev-
eryone’s cool with it at the dentist’s office, but if
you use it on them when they’re walking down the street,
they get all weird about it and then start suffocating. I’m
just like ‘Ugh, why did I choose a life of crime when I
could have been a glamorous, mediocre dentist?’”

“That joke plays a lot better in Metropolis.”

“185 Batmans walk into a bar, and the bartender says
,‘Hey! We don’t serve Batmans in here!’ And the 185
Batmans say, ‘Looks like it’ll be another lonely Knight.’
That one’s a visual pun, if you read it you’d laugh more.”

“185 Batmans walk into a bar, and the bartender
says, ‘Hey! We don’t serve Batmans in here!’ And the
185 Batmans say, ‘Come on, I’ve heard such great things
about your microBruce!’”

“185 Batmans walk into a bar, and the bartender
says, ‘Hey! We don’t serve Batmans in here!’ And the
185 Batmans say, ‘My parents are dead.’”

“What? No, I’m not doing the bit about the scars. I
always do that bit. I’ve gotta keep my material fresh.”

“There was so much cinnamon on my bagel! I was
like, ‘Whoa, who put all this cinnamon here?’”
“Why so serious?”

“It’s embarrassing how bad the police are their jobs.
I’m literally doing a comedy show right now, and no one’s
even tried to arrest me. Get it together guys! With this
much corruption and inefficiency, I almost feel bad do-
ing my usual psychopath thing. I ask myself sometimes,
‘Hasn’t Gotham had enough to deal with today?’ Usu-
ally I’m like ‘Nah,’ but sometimes I just stay in and watch
House of Cards.”

—E. Campbell-Taylor

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