Man, that Jamaican techno electro-
house fusion you played at your
concert was really pretty great. I was
a bit concerned though when you guys
blindfolded everyone and made us
walk around on our knees like prairie
dogs while reciting the Greek alphabet
backwards. I sure didn’t see that

— Timmy, age six

Dear Timmy, aka Pledge Thunderpussy,
Pound this Keystone right the fuck now.

— Major Hazer