Dear thimble factory worker about to
jump off a bridge,

Don’t do it! I’ve seen an alternate
future where you don’t exist, and some
slightly misshapen thimbles go out
because the worker who replaces you
needs a week to get up to speed! I
mean, the thimbles are all usable, but
still, you know?

—The angel in the original, less
uplifting script for It’s a Wonderful Life